the rules...

had to copy this from a guy friend of mine... HAlarious!


We always hear " the rules " from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 1 7 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


(But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping)

then and now...

by request...

that was then...

and this is now...yeah man...

-kmw-

don't ya just love people?

i get this call the other day at work....this lady wants to know if we have dowels that you would use to put in a window to stop it from being opened... i said yes... she asked if they could be cut to size... i said yes... THEN she asked me "if i wanted them cut to certain lengths could i just order that and then pick them up within the hour?"
does this look like a drive-through lady??
i mean really??
of course i can't just tell her no... i could get in trouble for that...
so i told her i'd cut them and have them up at customer service for her to pick up.
i cut them and walked up to customer service and set them on the counter...
the head cashier looks at the dowels, looks at me, and asks "what are these?"
i said "there's a lady that's coming to pick them up within the hour... they're not paid for... she called and asked if i'd cut them and have them ready to pick up..."
he says "uh... ok... that's interesting... i didn't know we had a drive-through..."
AH! my thoughts exactly...
lazy bellevue people...

-kmw-

FANtastic!!

so, as you may already know, i've been losing a bit of weight here and there since moving out of mom and dad's...

well tonight marks a fantastic day in history...
rewind to a month and a half ago...
my pants were too big, so i thought i'd bust out the giant bag of old jeans that didn't fit me, but that i didn't want to toss and see if they might fit...
i tried on a couple of them....
too soon...
they wouldn't even go up over my thighs...
well... tonight before going to Brentley's birthday party i was feeling gutsy...
so i went for it.
i grabbed one of my favorite pairs of old jeans out of the bottom of the closet and put them on...
GREAT SUCCESS!!
they fit!!
EEEEEEEE!!!!
i can't even begin to tell you how awesome this makes me feel... it's been almost 3 years since these jeans fit me...
i'm still working on it, but this is a big step and i'm really proud of myself!!
go me.

-kmw-