ok, so... when i sleep i HAVE to have my fans on... and they're not just little fans... my room is a wind tunnel! i can't hear anything or anyone, and on top of that i sleep like a dead body. for the most part, i'm a pretty quiet sleeper... i do however breathe really hard and snore every now and then...
my not-so-little brother is usually the one that has to wake me up in the mornings to read scriptures with the family. so he comes down to "the bat cave" at about 6:00am...
he opens the door
turns off the box fan
and starts saying "kiley...kiley...KILEY....KILEY!!!"
til i "uuuuhhh"...
he then gets closer to the bed and says "kiley...kiley...KILEY....KILEY!!!"
until i say my first real word of the day... "what"
at which point he turns off my OTHER fan and tells me whatever message there is and why he's waking me up.
well... on this particular occasion... the second attempt at getting a response was unsuccessful... so as he got closer still and said my name again the only response i gave was....
sssssssssnnnnnnnnooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrr........
not loud, not bear-like... just a quite little inhalation of the entire oxygen supply of the room.
he starts laughing.
i roll over...
he leaves, still laughing...
i finally get out of bed, go up stairs and say "were you laughing when you woke me up this morning?"
the whole family got a kick out of the story...
read it from my not-so-little brother's point of view...
-kmw-
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
ohmigosh... shoes...
so... i had a pretty crappy end to my week, as you may know from reading my blog, and for my "upper" i decided it was time for some new skate shoes...look! look!
aren't they just beautiful?
they are Mens DC Aerotech 2's
yes, i had to special order yet another pair of shoes (which kinda was a "downer" on my "upper" but only for about half a second) to get some small enough for my tiny "wiskem" feet...
unfortunately they don't carry small men's shoes in the store... i guess they don't really count on people like me, short girls with little feet, to purchase lots of the smaller sizes... whatever...
anyway, i made my own day today and i'm as happy as if i had good sense...
thanks to Stink for the lovely modeling of my beautiful new addition.
no i will not tell you how much they cost... so don't bother asking.
have a nice day!
-kmw-
why do i attract all the crazy people?
so... i went out to dinner with Mr. SingleForLife tonight...
first off, holy slow texter... it took about an hour to get out the complete conversation ("you wanna go out?" "sure" "k, i'll pick you up in an hour") over text messaging... for the love.
we enjoyed fine dinning at Azteca... he had a coupon... our waiter asked us what we would like to drink, he wanted coke, they had Pepsi... he was notably disappointed... so he went with a root beer instead. we had to have our waiter come back about 6 times before we (and by "we" i mean he) were ready to order.
explanation: he wanted to get the special, because the display looked "tasty" but then started reading the fine print on the back of the coupon which indicated that "this offer not valid with any other offers or discounts" so he was concerned that if he got the special, that was discounted, he wouldn't get his coupon validated or, the other option: i wouldn't be eating tonight.
moving right along... we finally got our food and had sparkling conversation about broken bones, cutting off fingers, and how brutal life is in general... and then had to wait for our waiter to come pick up our check after it had been sitting there for a good 20 minutes after he initially dropped it off.
he drove me home, all the while still chatting about nothing that had to do with anything at all... we pulled into my driveway and continued talking for almost an hour in the car, before my mom arrived home... as she pulled in behind us i said "i wonder who is pulling in my drive way" to which he replied "well, i hope it's someone that lives here" (anyone that's been to my house knows that you can't "accidentally" drive down my driveway...) i kinda half-sympathy-laughed and said "i think it's my mom, which means you're gunna have to move the car 'cause you're in her spot"
here comes the best part.
he turns to me and says "uh... you're still in the car..."
no joke, those were the exact words that came out of his mouth...
all i could say was "well, i guess i'll go then..." and he said, with a bit of confusion in his voice, "well, did you want me to back up with you in the car?" i said "uh... i don't care, but whatever" and i got out of the car.
i thanked him for dinner and politely suggested that i'd see him later, but in my head i'm thinking "uh, never again..."
i waved and then waited at the door for my mom... i couldn't wait to tell her what had just happened... i'm glad to say that she got about as much of a kick out of this experience as i did...
her words: "well, there's a reason some people are still in the Singles Ward..."
my sentiments exactly...
-kmw-
first off, holy slow texter... it took about an hour to get out the complete conversation ("you wanna go out?" "sure" "k, i'll pick you up in an hour") over text messaging... for the love.
we enjoyed fine dinning at Azteca... he had a coupon... our waiter asked us what we would like to drink, he wanted coke, they had Pepsi... he was notably disappointed... so he went with a root beer instead. we had to have our waiter come back about 6 times before we (and by "we" i mean he) were ready to order.
explanation: he wanted to get the special, because the display looked "tasty" but then started reading the fine print on the back of the coupon which indicated that "this offer not valid with any other offers or discounts" so he was concerned that if he got the special, that was discounted, he wouldn't get his coupon validated or, the other option: i wouldn't be eating tonight.
moving right along... we finally got our food and had sparkling conversation about broken bones, cutting off fingers, and how brutal life is in general... and then had to wait for our waiter to come pick up our check after it had been sitting there for a good 20 minutes after he initially dropped it off.
he drove me home, all the while still chatting about nothing that had to do with anything at all... we pulled into my driveway and continued talking for almost an hour in the car, before my mom arrived home... as she pulled in behind us i said "i wonder who is pulling in my drive way" to which he replied "well, i hope it's someone that lives here" (anyone that's been to my house knows that you can't "accidentally" drive down my driveway...) i kinda half-sympathy-laughed and said "i think it's my mom, which means you're gunna have to move the car 'cause you're in her spot"
here comes the best part.
he turns to me and says "uh... you're still in the car..."
no joke, those were the exact words that came out of his mouth...
all i could say was "well, i guess i'll go then..." and he said, with a bit of confusion in his voice, "well, did you want me to back up with you in the car?" i said "uh... i don't care, but whatever" and i got out of the car.
i thanked him for dinner and politely suggested that i'd see him later, but in my head i'm thinking "uh, never again..."
i waved and then waited at the door for my mom... i couldn't wait to tell her what had just happened... i'm glad to say that she got about as much of a kick out of this experience as i did...
her words: "well, there's a reason some people are still in the Singles Ward..."
my sentiments exactly...
-kmw-
Friday, March 28, 2008
that's just foul...
could today get any worse?!
i think not.
i'm still sick. when i got up everyone needed to take a shower at the same time... there's still only one shower that's usable... so i decided to go to work and shower there instead.
well, i got to work and was informed that there was no showers, no water, no pressure at all because they were working on the plumbing upstairs and that it was leaking into the women's' locker room again.
great.
no shower. whatever, i can go without today... i'll just wash my face in the dribble of cold water still coming out of the tap, put makeup on and throw my hair up in a bun and some bobby-pins. cake.
then i realized that i forgot socks. i hate wearing shoes with no socks... it's where stinky feet and shoes come from.
foul.
so i asked my brother to bring me some socks because he and my mom and dad would be coming this way so my parents could go to my dad's appointment and have surgery on his other knee today and they were gunna drop my brother off to get the car from me...
no biggy right? so he said yeah, he'd bring them and i asked him to bring me a hair thing too...
an hour later he shows up...
holding his hands in front of his chest in the shape of a heart he says "don't hate me... i forgot your socks and hair thing" and tosses a tiny rubber band at me...
any of you that have hair that requires a hair thing now and then know that if you put a rubber band in it, you basically rip out all the hair it touches when you try and take it out again.
i asked him to go back and get my socks please... so he left.
5 minutes later my mom calls my work...
"is it worth $3.50 a gallon for him to go all the way home (a 4 minute drive) to get your socks?"
"uh... i put $20 in there on my way to work, it's not gunna take him all of that to get home and back...if it does, he's going to California"
"i'm just asking if it's worth it to you to spend three dollars and fifty cents a gallon for him to go get your socks."
"yes, mom, i don't like wearing shoes without socks, my feet get sweaty and then it makes my feet and shoes stink."
"ok, i'm just asking if it's worth it to you. you cant live for a few hours without socks?"
*thinking to myself 'thanks... you just made my job sound pointless'*
"forget it. just forget it, i'll just have to 'live without' for today."
"ok"
"bye"
and i hung up.
so here i am, sock-less, shower-less, sleep-less because all night i couldn't breathe, hungry because i forgot lunch, and then... i got propositioned by a 60-year-old man...
foul.
he asked if the showers were working yet and i said only the cold water... he says "oh, then you'll have to take a shower with me then..."
EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!
i said "not on your life!!" (in the nicest voice possible of course... HA! no way.)
gross...
he says "best offer you've got all day i'll bet"
"no... actually not." i lied
"oh! well then i'll have to hear about the other so i can see if i can top it"
i laughed... sympathy/uneasy laugh... totally grossed out...
continuing with my lie i said "well, first of all, he's not old enough to be my dad..."
he says "i'm older than your dad i think"
"how old are you?"
"60"
"ok, he's not old enough to be my GRAMPA..."
and he decided to walk away at that point...
when he walked away i turned to my co-worker and just looked at her like "WHAT THE?!"
that's just foul...
ugh.
i wanna go home.
-kmw-
i think not.
i'm still sick. when i got up everyone needed to take a shower at the same time... there's still only one shower that's usable... so i decided to go to work and shower there instead.
well, i got to work and was informed that there was no showers, no water, no pressure at all because they were working on the plumbing upstairs and that it was leaking into the women's' locker room again.
great.
no shower. whatever, i can go without today... i'll just wash my face in the dribble of cold water still coming out of the tap, put makeup on and throw my hair up in a bun and some bobby-pins. cake.
then i realized that i forgot socks. i hate wearing shoes with no socks... it's where stinky feet and shoes come from.
foul.
so i asked my brother to bring me some socks because he and my mom and dad would be coming this way so my parents could go to my dad's appointment and have surgery on his other knee today and they were gunna drop my brother off to get the car from me...
no biggy right? so he said yeah, he'd bring them and i asked him to bring me a hair thing too...
an hour later he shows up...
holding his hands in front of his chest in the shape of a heart he says "don't hate me... i forgot your socks and hair thing" and tosses a tiny rubber band at me...
any of you that have hair that requires a hair thing now and then know that if you put a rubber band in it, you basically rip out all the hair it touches when you try and take it out again.
i asked him to go back and get my socks please... so he left.
5 minutes later my mom calls my work...
"is it worth $3.50 a gallon for him to go all the way home (a 4 minute drive) to get your socks?"
"uh... i put $20 in there on my way to work, it's not gunna take him all of that to get home and back...if it does, he's going to California"
"i'm just asking if it's worth it to you to spend three dollars and fifty cents a gallon for him to go get your socks."
"yes, mom, i don't like wearing shoes without socks, my feet get sweaty and then it makes my feet and shoes stink."
"ok, i'm just asking if it's worth it to you. you cant live for a few hours without socks?"
*thinking to myself 'thanks... you just made my job sound pointless'*
"forget it. just forget it, i'll just have to 'live without' for today."
"ok"
"bye"
and i hung up.
so here i am, sock-less, shower-less, sleep-less because all night i couldn't breathe, hungry because i forgot lunch, and then... i got propositioned by a 60-year-old man...
foul.
he asked if the showers were working yet and i said only the cold water... he says "oh, then you'll have to take a shower with me then..."
EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!
i said "not on your life!!" (in the nicest voice possible of course... HA! no way.)
gross...
he says "best offer you've got all day i'll bet"
"no... actually not." i lied
"oh! well then i'll have to hear about the other so i can see if i can top it"
i laughed... sympathy/uneasy laugh... totally grossed out...
continuing with my lie i said "well, first of all, he's not old enough to be my dad..."
he says "i'm older than your dad i think"
"how old are you?"
"60"
"ok, he's not old enough to be my GRAMPA..."
and he decided to walk away at that point...
when he walked away i turned to my co-worker and just looked at her like "WHAT THE?!"
that's just foul...
ugh.
i wanna go home.
-kmw-
Thursday, March 27, 2008
urban word of the day
as some of you may know, i subscribe, via: email, to Urban Dictionary
twitterpated:
1) to be completely enamored with someone/something.
2) the flighty exciting feeling you get when you think about/see the object of your affection.
3) romantically excited
4) the ever increasing acceleration of heartbeat and body temperature as a result of being engulfed amidst the exhilaration and joy of being/having a romantic entity in someone's life.
i thought this was a hilarious coincidence...
fun times...
-kmw-
twitterpated:
1) to be completely enamored with someone/something.
2) the flighty exciting feeling you get when you think about/see the object of your affection.
3) romantically excited
4) the ever increasing acceleration of heartbeat and body temperature as a result of being engulfed amidst the exhilaration and joy of being/having a romantic entity in someone's life.
i thought this was a hilarious coincidence...
fun times...
-kmw-
mentholatum and halls plus...
i woke up Wednesday morning insta-sick...
i didn't feel crappy Tuesday night.
i didn't feel crappy when i went to bed after midnight.
no "i feel a cold coming on" signs...
nope.
none of that.
i just woke up Wednesday morning with a runny AND stuffed up nose (i know, crazy huh...) a sore throat and nasty cough...
luckily i has stocked up on Halls Plus!
they're 10 times better than normal Halls because there's stuff inside them...
and by stuff i mean cough syrup...
i've been eating them like candy all day...
i'm pretty sure that i was drunk at work today...
too much cough syrup intake...
and on top of that i've been shoving Mentholatum up my nose for the past 2 days...
gross...
but it makes my nose feel so much better!!
i don't care if i look like i'm picking my nose...
i think i'm dying...
i promised my favorite friend in Idaho all of my shoes...
that's all i've got in my will so far...
i think it's a good start.
-kmw-
i didn't feel crappy Tuesday night.
i didn't feel crappy when i went to bed after midnight.
no "i feel a cold coming on" signs...
nope.
none of that.
i just woke up Wednesday morning with a runny AND stuffed up nose (i know, crazy huh...) a sore throat and nasty cough...
luckily i has stocked up on Halls Plus!
they're 10 times better than normal Halls because there's stuff inside them...
and by stuff i mean cough syrup...
i've been eating them like candy all day...
i'm pretty sure that i was drunk at work today...
too much cough syrup intake...
and on top of that i've been shoving Mentholatum up my nose for the past 2 days...
gross...
but it makes my nose feel so much better!!
i don't care if i look like i'm picking my nose...
i think i'm dying...
i promised my favorite friend in Idaho all of my shoes...
that's all i've got in my will so far...
i think it's a good start.
-kmw-
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
chaos and pillows...
my singles ward has an annual Cabin Overnight trip up to a cabin in Alpental. it's always a good time, well, every time i've gone i've had a blast! this year was awesome too!! i rode up with a friend, it was kinda an awkward start to the weekend... we chatted for about the first 5 or 10 minutes... and then he turned on the music and we drove the rest of the 40 minute drive in silence... he didn't say another word to me until we arrived at the cabin... can you say awkward turtle?! yeah...
anyway, so we finally made it there and walked in... the first thing i spotted was the most beautiful pair of DC shoes i've ever seen in my life... i knew instantly whose they were. and is he good looking?! yes. yes indeed. i dropped off my things at the bottom of the stairs and said hello to friends (including Mr. DC's and Mr. AreYouMarriedYet) and made my way around the room. i played cards with a new guy, a new guy i didn't know... (that was for you Stink) he showed me this game called "Egyptian Rat Screw"... which i forgot the name of and ended up calling "Rat Race"... and i lost horribly multiple times... i also lost to Mr. AwkwardTurtle... (his aliases include: Mr. ICantLose and Mr. ITendToHaveABadAttitude...) he promptly left after he beat me. how typical!
anyway, then we played this other game... totally fun. it's played with a brown paper bag, one you would get at a grocery store, you stand in a circle and each person has a chance to pick up the bag with their mouth without touching the bag or the ground with their hands. you can only touch the ground with your feet, no kneeling, no leaning on your hands, no nothing. the trick is, after each person has had a chance, you take the bag and cut off the first 1 or 2 inches and then everyone tries again. you keep cutting off the top until there's only the bottom of the bag left... whoever makes it to the end (each person only gets 2 chances per-round) wins!!
for the record, i was one of 3 people that won. we even went a step further and put a plain sheet of paper on the ground and i still got it!! go me. haha!
(that's me... boo yuh! i think i pulled something)
the next game i played is a... well, somewhat violent game... it's a 2 person game, the opponents stand face to face, a foot or 2 apart with their hands up. basically you "high-5" and try and knock the other person over, or take a step. you can dodge out of the way, or push back or whatever it takes as long as you get the other person to step or fall. i was knocked on my butt a bunch of times by multiple opponents. go me. haha!!
we took a break from that game and played Spoons... also a dangerous game... i fell off the bench i was sitting on. but i got a spoon and that was all that mattered at the time!
it started getting late and people started doing other things, Fooseball, cards, chatting, luke-warm "hot tub" dip... whatever. a couple girls went upstairs and decided they would get some rest... a few of the guys decided that going to sleep before 3am was unacceptable... so they found pillows and attacked!! apparently they got it all on video, but i haven't seen it...
later i ended up playing the "high-5" game with Mr. DCs until 3am when our leader (who also rocked every one's socks off at the paper bag game, go him.) said that we should say "family prayers" and that everyone should try and get some sleep. after prayers we decided best-out-of-3 would end it so we could go to bed. we ended up playing for another 20 minutes or so, it started off alright, he missed my hands and pretty much karate-chopped me in the neck with his thumb and the heel of his hand... OUCH!! i fell to the ground and grabbed my neck, he was nice about it though, he said we wouldn't count that one... i ended up losing anyway. but i stole his shoes to get him back. (unfortunately i had to give them back to him...)
i didn't sleep well, mostly because i wasn't tired, but on top of that it was too dang quiet there... no fans, no one close enough to hear them breathing, nobody talking... no nothing. it took me forever to fall asleep and then they started cooking dinner at like... 5, which woke me up with the smell, the chopping... good grief... i finally got out of bed and brushed my teeth, put some clothes on, grabbed my blanket and went downstairs and sat on the couch next to (more like on top of) Mr. AreYouMarriedYet... people slowly started waking up and filling the room... we ate, watched a couple guys throw each other around and show how "manly" they were and then people started packing up, cleaning up, and leaving.
i realized that i didn't have a ride home because Mr. AwkwardTurtle had left the night before. i asked a couple girl friends if i could bum a ride... no dice... no room...
Mr. DCs wanders by and is headed out... he lives near by and so i asked him if i could tag along... he says he was planning on going straight to work, but that he wouldn't mind going a few minutes out of the way to drop me off... so i loaded my things into his car... noticed there were 2 skateboards in the trunk... NICE!
"you bring toys, AND toys to share!"
"well yeah!"
and we drove off. we made small talk for a few minutes and then he asked what kind of music i like and ended up turning on Linkin Park... instant ice-breaker... i love Linkin Park!! but at the same time i'm thinking "oh great, another 40 minute awkward drive..." but about 20 seconds into the song he turns it down...
"so... i don't know anything about you..."
"oh? well, what do you wanna know?"
"where did you grow up, what's your family like..."
so we basically ended up telling each other our Reader's Digest version of our life stories on the drive home! it was great. yay for someone that actually talks!!
anyway... so i came home, crashed for a couple hours, posted a bunch of pictures (like the one of me playing the paper bag game) and then ended up going over to a friend's house and playing this AWESOME game with cards and energy drinks... i lost, sadly, and on the way home i almost peed my pants. i kid you not. i was in so much pain!! i almost exploded... and to top it off, our house is currently under construction, so not only did i almost burst in the car, i had to run inside, up the stairs, down the hall and into the main bathroom before i got my release!! *ugh*
anyway... that was my weekend... it was a blast!!
-kmw-
anyway, so we finally made it there and walked in... the first thing i spotted was the most beautiful pair of DC shoes i've ever seen in my life... i knew instantly whose they were. and is he good looking?! yes. yes indeed. i dropped off my things at the bottom of the stairs and said hello to friends (including Mr. DC's and Mr. AreYouMarriedYet) and made my way around the room. i played cards with a new guy, a new guy i didn't know... (that was for you Stink) he showed me this game called "Egyptian Rat Screw"... which i forgot the name of and ended up calling "Rat Race"... and i lost horribly multiple times... i also lost to Mr. AwkwardTurtle... (his aliases include: Mr. ICantLose and Mr. ITendToHaveABadAttitude...) he promptly left after he beat me. how typical!
anyway, then we played this other game... totally fun. it's played with a brown paper bag, one you would get at a grocery store, you stand in a circle and each person has a chance to pick up the bag with their mouth without touching the bag or the ground with their hands. you can only touch the ground with your feet, no kneeling, no leaning on your hands, no nothing. the trick is, after each person has had a chance, you take the bag and cut off the first 1 or 2 inches and then everyone tries again. you keep cutting off the top until there's only the bottom of the bag left... whoever makes it to the end (each person only gets 2 chances per-round) wins!!
for the record, i was one of 3 people that won. we even went a step further and put a plain sheet of paper on the ground and i still got it!! go me. haha!
(that's me... boo yuh! i think i pulled something)
the next game i played is a... well, somewhat violent game... it's a 2 person game, the opponents stand face to face, a foot or 2 apart with their hands up. basically you "high-5" and try and knock the other person over, or take a step. you can dodge out of the way, or push back or whatever it takes as long as you get the other person to step or fall. i was knocked on my butt a bunch of times by multiple opponents. go me. haha!!
we took a break from that game and played Spoons... also a dangerous game... i fell off the bench i was sitting on. but i got a spoon and that was all that mattered at the time!
it started getting late and people started doing other things, Fooseball, cards, chatting, luke-warm "hot tub" dip... whatever. a couple girls went upstairs and decided they would get some rest... a few of the guys decided that going to sleep before 3am was unacceptable... so they found pillows and attacked!! apparently they got it all on video, but i haven't seen it...
later i ended up playing the "high-5" game with Mr. DCs until 3am when our leader (who also rocked every one's socks off at the paper bag game, go him.) said that we should say "family prayers" and that everyone should try and get some sleep. after prayers we decided best-out-of-3 would end it so we could go to bed. we ended up playing for another 20 minutes or so, it started off alright, he missed my hands and pretty much karate-chopped me in the neck with his thumb and the heel of his hand... OUCH!! i fell to the ground and grabbed my neck, he was nice about it though, he said we wouldn't count that one... i ended up losing anyway. but i stole his shoes to get him back. (unfortunately i had to give them back to him...)
i didn't sleep well, mostly because i wasn't tired, but on top of that it was too dang quiet there... no fans, no one close enough to hear them breathing, nobody talking... no nothing. it took me forever to fall asleep and then they started cooking dinner at like... 5, which woke me up with the smell, the chopping... good grief... i finally got out of bed and brushed my teeth, put some clothes on, grabbed my blanket and went downstairs and sat on the couch next to (more like on top of) Mr. AreYouMarriedYet... people slowly started waking up and filling the room... we ate, watched a couple guys throw each other around and show how "manly" they were and then people started packing up, cleaning up, and leaving.
i realized that i didn't have a ride home because Mr. AwkwardTurtle had left the night before. i asked a couple girl friends if i could bum a ride... no dice... no room...
Mr. DCs wanders by and is headed out... he lives near by and so i asked him if i could tag along... he says he was planning on going straight to work, but that he wouldn't mind going a few minutes out of the way to drop me off... so i loaded my things into his car... noticed there were 2 skateboards in the trunk... NICE!
"you bring toys, AND toys to share!"
"well yeah!"
and we drove off. we made small talk for a few minutes and then he asked what kind of music i like and ended up turning on Linkin Park... instant ice-breaker... i love Linkin Park!! but at the same time i'm thinking "oh great, another 40 minute awkward drive..." but about 20 seconds into the song he turns it down...
"so... i don't know anything about you..."
"oh? well, what do you wanna know?"
"where did you grow up, what's your family like..."
so we basically ended up telling each other our Reader's Digest version of our life stories on the drive home! it was great. yay for someone that actually talks!!
anyway... so i came home, crashed for a couple hours, posted a bunch of pictures (like the one of me playing the paper bag game) and then ended up going over to a friend's house and playing this AWESOME game with cards and energy drinks... i lost, sadly, and on the way home i almost peed my pants. i kid you not. i was in so much pain!! i almost exploded... and to top it off, our house is currently under construction, so not only did i almost burst in the car, i had to run inside, up the stairs, down the hall and into the main bathroom before i got my release!! *ugh*
anyway... that was my weekend... it was a blast!!
-kmw-
Thursday, March 20, 2008
i before e rule...
"Brian, what's the i before e rule?"
"I before e... always."
"What are you, an idiot, Brian?"
"Apparently."
So she explains it.
"No, Brian. It's i before e except after c and when sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!"
That's a hard rule. That's a- that's a rough rule.
Plurals were hard, too.
“Brian, how do you make a word a plural?”
“You put a ‘s’…put a ‘s’ at the end of it.”
“When?”
“On weekends and holidays.”
“No, Brian. Let me show you.”
So she asked this kid who knew everything. Irwin.
“Irwin, what’s the plural for ox?”
“Oxen. The farmer used his oxen.”
“Brian?”
(chuckling)“What?”
“Brian, what’s the plural for box?”
“Boxen. I bought 2 boxen of doughnuts.”
"No, Brian, no. Let's try another one. Irwin, what's the plural for goose?"
"Geese. I saw a flock of geese."
"Brian."
(half-crying) "Wha-at?"
"Brian, what's the plural for moose?"
"Moosen! I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods- in the woodes- in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen. The meese want the food & the food is to eatenesen! The food is to eatenesen!"
"Brian! Brian. You're an imbecile."
"Imbecile-n."
"What are you speaking? German, Brian?"
"German. Jermain. Jermaine Jackson. Jackson Five. Tito!"
--Brian Regan-kmw-
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
um... i'm gunna have to call you back...
ah work... most days i find time to blog and look at other peoples' blogs... i'm a receptionist, so i pretty much get paid to talk on the phone and be on the computer for 5 hours a day...
i usually talk to my sister, molly aka: stink or my best friend... that moved away... (haha).
today the call was to stink.
we were dorking around as usual... making fun of each other, quoting movies and comedians and just random things that we both laugh HYSTERICALLY about on a regular basis... all the while i was multi-tasking... printing off superbills, filing charts, going down my check list figuring out what i still had to do before closing... you know... the usu' (sound it out.... i dare you...)
i decided that i needed a little sustenance so i whipped out my oriental rice crackers from TJ's (Trader Joe's, not to be confused with the Tired Jollies) and poured them into a bowl...
i was sifting through them with my finger trying to pick out the ones i don't like so i could toss them and scooted toward my desk... i bumped my desk with the bowl and it slipped out of my hand, spewing rice crackers all over my desk before it fell to the floor making the biggest mess EVER under my desk...
i gasped, started laughing and said...
"um... i'm gunna have to call you back..."
i usually talk to my sister, molly aka: stink or my best friend... that moved away... (haha).
today the call was to stink.
we were dorking around as usual... making fun of each other, quoting movies and comedians and just random things that we both laugh HYSTERICALLY about on a regular basis... all the while i was multi-tasking... printing off superbills, filing charts, going down my check list figuring out what i still had to do before closing... you know... the usu' (sound it out.... i dare you...)
i decided that i needed a little sustenance so i whipped out my oriental rice crackers from TJ's (Trader Joe's, not to be confused with the Tired Jollies) and poured them into a bowl...
i was sifting through them with my finger trying to pick out the ones i don't like so i could toss them and scooted toward my desk... i bumped my desk with the bowl and it slipped out of my hand, spewing rice crackers all over my desk before it fell to the floor making the biggest mess EVER under my desk...
i gasped, started laughing and said...
"um... i'm gunna have to call you back..."
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
my best friend... that moved away...
for those of you that don't know me (i feel like i'm giving a talk or something) i am notorious for complaining that my best friend has moved away. every one of my best friends, yes, every single one, has moved away from me.
it all started with my piano teacher's daughter... i took piano for almost two years and instantly became friends with the family, namely her youngest daughter. we would play at her house, my house, the church, pretty much anywhere and when we weren't together we were on the phone with each other. i absolutely adored her little brother. he is autistic and the most loving little boy i've ever met in my life! he would draw me pictures and make me things and give them to me every week when i came for my piano lesson. then they decided to move to Utah... from then on, i always referred to her as "my best friend... that moved away..."
then there was my high school best friend... we became instant friends when i asked her to pop my back on the bathroom floor one day between classes. (yeah, that sounds gross, but we put our jackets down...) we wrote notes in class, sat at the same lunch table every day, saved seats for each other at assemblies, and were practically inseparable. when we weren't sitting next to each other or talking during passing periods or lunch we were texting during class... i'm pretty sure that we got in trouble daily by different teacher for not paying attention. she introduced me to TDM (Taco Del Mar) and i have since been addicted. she moved away to college after she graduated and thus became "my other best friend... that moved away..."
i started working at Lowe's right out of high school and instantly fell in love with the people there. they all had so much to talk about and so much to teach! i learned so much from the people i met at Lowe's about fixing things and life in general. one friend, who recently passed away, actually convinced me to stand up to management and demand that they actually consider my SECOND request to move from the front to the Lumber department, even though i'm a girl. it worked! i happily worked in Lumber for three months until one manager found so many round-about reasons to have me moved that i was put in Hardware/Tools... you bet i gave him a heck of a time every time i saw him... i have very little respect for authority... especially when people use "unrighteous dominion". he convinced me that Plumbing was where i needed to be. i have to admit that i learned the most being in the Plumbing department. he was the greatest friend i could ever have. he was smart, humorous, and treated me like his daughter. every day he told me how much i reminded him of his daughter and because of that i was his favorite. he taught me about everything i needed to know about fixing any plumbing issue anyone could come up with. he taught me about life. he taught me the true meaning of "federally mandated 15-minute rest periods" aka: Little Debbie Snack Cake Breaks... he will always be the greatest Italian i've ever known. he is in Heaven now, and what a party it must be up there!! he is "my other best friend... that moved away..."
after the first time i met "sponge" i'm pretty sure we became instant best friends. we went bowling with the Lowe's Bowling Crew (that i was in charge of) and went to Denny's after doing overnights for inventory prep. and inventory... we talked or texted almost every day... we vented to one another about how stupid people are and how irritated we were with this and that and the other. he taught me how to be more compassionate and how to try and look at things from someone else's perspective when i'm upset with them. he taught me how to laugh uncontrollably at the simple things, because laughter truly is the best medicine. he taught me how to love unconditionally. he's the greatest example of pure love. if you could all see the way he treats his little sister, you would know what i'm talking about... she has Downs Syndrome and that makes it difficult for her to communicate with others. she got more comfortable with me around after he and i had been friends for a while and would say hello to me. she's the best. if i didn't have him i wouldn't have much!! i'll always remember the week we spent with his family in Cannon Beach... i think i decided that that is one of my favorite places on earth. he moved away to school up in Bellingham and we rarely get to spend time together. but we will always be best friends and he will always be "another best friend... that moved away..."
when i started attending my singles ward most of the older singles already knew me because of my sisters, so i was a shoe-in for having lots of friends. but one in particular was the best of them all. she's a couple years younger than me, but she really knows how to have fun! she lights up a room with her smile. she is the life of any party, and she makes me smile... she and i bounce off each other and have a good time every time we're together. she and i are true Partners In Crime... ahh the drive-by's... ahh the late nights... ahh the texting and phone minutes we've used over the last while... CRAZY. she is the shoulder i cry on, the one i bounce my ideas off of, the sound-board i vent at when the world is just too much... she moved away to Utah to go to school and work last year and i've been buddy-less ever since... i miss her very much. but i'll get to see her again soon!! she is "my best friend... that moved away..."
there's also another friend... he's pretty freaking awesome. we got along from day one. he and i met while i was at school in Idaho. he would come visit me and we would go and dork around at the park. he visited me when all my roommates, all five of them, ditched me for a weekend. he taught me how to ride and not be afraid of a skateboard. he taught me how to ride and not eat it... well at least in a straight line... we're still working on the whole turning thing... he listens to me when i've had a hard day. we do homework together... well... we do his homework... we talk about everything and anything. he tells me about what he's doing and what's going on in his life. we "web cam" like nerds and chat on MSN because this time... THIS time, it was ME that moved away from my best friend... sadly we didnt become BEST friends until after i had left school. but we did have our good times while i was there. i cant wait to see him again too!! we really need to stop talking about it and just visit each other... but he is definitely one of the coolest guys i've ever met. and that's saying a lot, especially coming from someone who has mostly GUY friends... he is "my best friend... that i moved away from..."
story of my life...
-kmw-
it all started with my piano teacher's daughter... i took piano for almost two years and instantly became friends with the family, namely her youngest daughter. we would play at her house, my house, the church, pretty much anywhere and when we weren't together we were on the phone with each other. i absolutely adored her little brother. he is autistic and the most loving little boy i've ever met in my life! he would draw me pictures and make me things and give them to me every week when i came for my piano lesson. then they decided to move to Utah... from then on, i always referred to her as "my best friend... that moved away..."
then there was my high school best friend... we became instant friends when i asked her to pop my back on the bathroom floor one day between classes. (yeah, that sounds gross, but we put our jackets down...) we wrote notes in class, sat at the same lunch table every day, saved seats for each other at assemblies, and were practically inseparable. when we weren't sitting next to each other or talking during passing periods or lunch we were texting during class... i'm pretty sure that we got in trouble daily by different teacher for not paying attention. she introduced me to TDM (Taco Del Mar) and i have since been addicted. she moved away to college after she graduated and thus became "my other best friend... that moved away..."
i started working at Lowe's right out of high school and instantly fell in love with the people there. they all had so much to talk about and so much to teach! i learned so much from the people i met at Lowe's about fixing things and life in general. one friend, who recently passed away, actually convinced me to stand up to management and demand that they actually consider my SECOND request to move from the front to the Lumber department, even though i'm a girl. it worked! i happily worked in Lumber for three months until one manager found so many round-about reasons to have me moved that i was put in Hardware/Tools... you bet i gave him a heck of a time every time i saw him... i have very little respect for authority... especially when people use "unrighteous dominion". he convinced me that Plumbing was where i needed to be. i have to admit that i learned the most being in the Plumbing department. he was the greatest friend i could ever have. he was smart, humorous, and treated me like his daughter. every day he told me how much i reminded him of his daughter and because of that i was his favorite. he taught me about everything i needed to know about fixing any plumbing issue anyone could come up with. he taught me about life. he taught me the true meaning of "federally mandated 15-minute rest periods" aka: Little Debbie Snack Cake Breaks... he will always be the greatest Italian i've ever known. he is in Heaven now, and what a party it must be up there!! he is "my other best friend... that moved away..."
after the first time i met "sponge" i'm pretty sure we became instant best friends. we went bowling with the Lowe's Bowling Crew (that i was in charge of) and went to Denny's after doing overnights for inventory prep. and inventory... we talked or texted almost every day... we vented to one another about how stupid people are and how irritated we were with this and that and the other. he taught me how to be more compassionate and how to try and look at things from someone else's perspective when i'm upset with them. he taught me how to laugh uncontrollably at the simple things, because laughter truly is the best medicine. he taught me how to love unconditionally. he's the greatest example of pure love. if you could all see the way he treats his little sister, you would know what i'm talking about... she has Downs Syndrome and that makes it difficult for her to communicate with others. she got more comfortable with me around after he and i had been friends for a while and would say hello to me. she's the best. if i didn't have him i wouldn't have much!! i'll always remember the week we spent with his family in Cannon Beach... i think i decided that that is one of my favorite places on earth. he moved away to school up in Bellingham and we rarely get to spend time together. but we will always be best friends and he will always be "another best friend... that moved away..."
when i started attending my singles ward most of the older singles already knew me because of my sisters, so i was a shoe-in for having lots of friends. but one in particular was the best of them all. she's a couple years younger than me, but she really knows how to have fun! she lights up a room with her smile. she is the life of any party, and she makes me smile... she and i bounce off each other and have a good time every time we're together. she and i are true Partners In Crime... ahh the drive-by's... ahh the late nights... ahh the texting and phone minutes we've used over the last while... CRAZY. she is the shoulder i cry on, the one i bounce my ideas off of, the sound-board i vent at when the world is just too much... she moved away to Utah to go to school and work last year and i've been buddy-less ever since... i miss her very much. but i'll get to see her again soon!! she is "my best friend... that moved away..."
there's also another friend... he's pretty freaking awesome. we got along from day one. he and i met while i was at school in Idaho. he would come visit me and we would go and dork around at the park. he visited me when all my roommates, all five of them, ditched me for a weekend. he taught me how to ride and not be afraid of a skateboard. he taught me how to ride and not eat it... well at least in a straight line... we're still working on the whole turning thing... he listens to me when i've had a hard day. we do homework together... well... we do his homework... we talk about everything and anything. he tells me about what he's doing and what's going on in his life. we "web cam" like nerds and chat on MSN because this time... THIS time, it was ME that moved away from my best friend... sadly we didnt become BEST friends until after i had left school. but we did have our good times while i was there. i cant wait to see him again too!! we really need to stop talking about it and just visit each other... but he is definitely one of the coolest guys i've ever met. and that's saying a lot, especially coming from someone who has mostly GUY friends... he is "my best friend... that i moved away from..."
story of my life...
-kmw-
Monday, March 17, 2008
oh, what's in a name?
here i sit at work... just looking at random things online and i came across the most hilariously sad article ever. a name is something you have to live with for the rest of your life, or until the age of 18 when you can legally change it, so why name your child something that they're going to hate you for?
my brother-in-law likes to make fun of some names that my sisters and i think are pretty adorable i.e.: Parker...over by that Kirbie... or Justin...time... the list goes on. but as much as he makes fun of those names, THESE are by far the worst...
"Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:
Al Caholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Amanda Hugginkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks"
--msnbc.com
why? why would you do that? do you WANT your kids to hate you?
there are more sad names in that article of people named after diseases, professions, sins, Irish luck, foods, and then what some celebrities have named their children...
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411/?GT1=43001
definitely check it out...
-kmw-
my brother-in-law likes to make fun of some names that my sisters and i think are pretty adorable i.e.: Parker...over by that Kirbie... or Justin...time... the list goes on. but as much as he makes fun of those names, THESE are by far the worst...
"Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:
Al Caholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Amanda Hugginkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks"
--msnbc.com
why? why would you do that? do you WANT your kids to hate you?
there are more sad names in that article of people named after diseases, professions, sins, Irish luck, foods, and then what some celebrities have named their children...
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411/?GT1=43001
definitely check it out...
-kmw-
Sunday, March 16, 2008
best. gift. ever.
this is what my mom and dad gave me for my birthday... as some of you may have read previously on my blog, i have fallen in love with Jane Austen... i opened the wrapping on the end and could only see the gold-edged pages... my dad said "what kinds of books have you gotten in the past that have pages that look like that?" i said "scriptures?"as i tore away the paper, i read the title... before i even had it out of the wrapping i almost started crying...
i should have taken a picture of the spine... but all of her books are in it...
Sense and Sensibility
Pride and Prejudice
Mansfield Park
Emma
Northanger Abbey
Persuasion
Lady Susan
i'll be sure and blog as i read...
p.s. see how excited Emily is in the background? not even CLOSE to how excited i was!
my not-so-little brother took a video of the birthday cake and singing... watch it here
-kmw-
it's my party and i'll dance if i want to!
yesterday was my birthday! yay twenty-two! the day BEFORE yesterday there was a party for a "group birthday celebration" which i was part of... it was quite fun. i danced til i was all sweaty (i know, gross) and i thought i was going to pass out... my friends were there, love them to death, we had a blastie-blast! haha!
then i had to work on my birthday morning, which isn't exactly my idea of fun, considering that i'm definitely NOT a morning person. but i got through the five hours i had to be there alive and we're good. then i went home, took a three hour, much needed, nap. (side note: if i were president i'd instate a Nation Nap Time every day, about 1:00ish. i think everyone would be happier and less prone to commit crime if they just got a little more sleep.)
after my nap i took a shower and proceeded to take almost two and a half hours getting ready to go to the Gold and Green Ball in Seattle at the University of Washington "HUB" (
Husky Union Building). my friend from out of town came and helped me finish gettin ready to go, what a doll she is! she was in town JUST at the right time to help me have a BLAST for my birthday. as you can see in my picture i went all out with the green. i had shamrock tattoos on my cheeks, a "Kiss Me I'm IRISH" tattoo on my chest, green eyeshadow, a green dress, green beads, a shamrock necklace, and a little green garter around my leg... fun times! i even bought crazy HUGE fake jewelery that was green including earrings, a bracelet and a ring.
so we drove to Seattle, took us about twenty minutes to find the dang HUB. when we finally found it we had to park forever away and then walk up, no joke, the longest flippin stairs i've ever been up in my life. i was a little less chipper by the time we got to the top. we went inside and, i kid you not, Napoleon Dynamite re-visited... i felt like i was sixteen again at a Stake Dance... AHH!! we hung around for about fifteen minutes and then decided that i needed to have a little more excitement for my birthday and ended up going over to a place called Jillian's, also in Seattle, and played pool and got hit on my pretty much every guy in the place... good times!
by the end of the night, my feet were KILLING ME, my legs were tired and shaking from all the walking and standing and dancing and whatever... so needless to day, i came home and fell right to sleep.
all in all it was a good birthday. while i was at work my sister, nieces and nephews called and sang Happy Birthday to me and my other sister called me three times and texted me sporadically throughout the day to wish me happy birthday... i guess once wasn't enough, gotta love 'er!
thanks to everyone that made my birthday AWESOME!! and thanks for all the texts and facebook-wall-posts and myspace-comments and everything! you're the greatest!
-kmw-
then i had to work on my birthday morning, which isn't exactly my idea of fun, considering that i'm definitely NOT a morning person. but i got through the five hours i had to be there alive and we're good. then i went home, took a three hour, much needed, nap. (side note: if i were president i'd instate a Nation Nap Time every day, about 1:00ish. i think everyone would be happier and less prone to commit crime if they just got a little more sleep.)
after my nap i took a shower and proceeded to take almost two and a half hours getting ready to go to the Gold and Green Ball in Seattle at the University of Washington "HUB" (
Husky Union Building). my friend from out of town came and helped me finish gettin ready to go, what a doll she is! she was in town JUST at the right time to help me have a BLAST for my birthday. as you can see in my picture i went all out with the green. i had shamrock tattoos on my cheeks, a "Kiss Me I'm IRISH" tattoo on my chest, green eyeshadow, a green dress, green beads, a shamrock necklace, and a little green garter around my leg... fun times! i even bought crazy HUGE fake jewelery that was green including earrings, a bracelet and a ring.so we drove to Seattle, took us about twenty minutes to find the dang HUB. when we finally found it we had to park forever away and then walk up, no joke, the longest flippin stairs i've ever been up in my life. i was a little less chipper by the time we got to the top. we went inside and, i kid you not, Napoleon Dynamite re-visited... i felt like i was sixteen again at a Stake Dance... AHH!! we hung around for about fifteen minutes and then decided that i needed to have a little more excitement for my birthday and ended up going over to a place called Jillian's, also in Seattle, and played pool and got hit on my pretty much every guy in the place... good times!
by the end of the night, my feet were KILLING ME, my legs were tired and shaking from all the walking and standing and dancing and whatever... so needless to day, i came home and fell right to sleep.
all in all it was a good birthday. while i was at work my sister, nieces and nephews called and sang Happy Birthday to me and my other sister called me three times and texted me sporadically throughout the day to wish me happy birthday... i guess once wasn't enough, gotta love 'er!
thanks to everyone that made my birthday AWESOME!! and thanks for all the texts and facebook-wall-posts and myspace-comments and everything! you're the greatest!
-kmw-
Friday, March 14, 2008
HOLY SHOOT!!
ok, so i have been blessed with my fathers dark hair. don't get me wrong, i love it! brunettes have more fun. down side? i have a man-stache... yes. a man-stache... (that's a mustche on a girl, for those of you that need a definition) i also have his bushy, out-of-control, wa-bangy eyebrows... so occasionally i have to take a trip down to the local "pay-for-pain" and have it removed...
"Women... they're crazy... they will have someone pour HOT WAX over their body, and then RIP the hair out... AT THE ROOT... and they're still afraid of spiders..."
--Jerry Seinfeld--
on this particular occasion my partner in crime, aka: fleet, video camera in hand, accompanied me... tomorrow is my birthday, as many of you know, and i'm going to a party tonight, and a ball tomorrow, so i needed to be freshly-waxed and looking my best OF COURSE!
i asked for the usual, eyebrows and upper lip and walk back to the waxing room (yes they have a designated room for this sort of thing) and lie down on the bed... she goes at it, ripping out my hair on my eyebrows and lip and then asks if i'd like her to do the little "flavor-saver" under my bottom lip as well. (she didn't call it that of course, she just asked if i wanted my bottom lip done as well) i said "sure, why not" so off it came! just like that. but no... that wasn't far enough! she then asked if i wanted my chin done too! i said "is it bad?"........ she handed me a mirror...
have you ever tried to look at your own chin? close up? it's pretty hard... i couldn't tell, so i just said "go for it"...
she starts spreading wax on my chin... and then down my neck... my eyes instantly are wide open... my thoughts? "WHAT?!" i say out loud "this is a new one for me..." she RIPS the cloth, wax and hair off my face/chin/neck and all i can say is "HOLY SHOOT!?!?" my partner in crime busts up laughing... my face? indescribable... it has been a unique experience all around...
until next time
you stay classy San Diego...
-kmw-
"Women... they're crazy... they will have someone pour HOT WAX over their body, and then RIP the hair out... AT THE ROOT... and they're still afraid of spiders..."
--Jerry Seinfeld--
on this particular occasion my partner in crime, aka: fleet, video camera in hand, accompanied me... tomorrow is my birthday, as many of you know, and i'm going to a party tonight, and a ball tomorrow, so i needed to be freshly-waxed and looking my best OF COURSE!
i asked for the usual, eyebrows and upper lip and walk back to the waxing room (yes they have a designated room for this sort of thing) and lie down on the bed... she goes at it, ripping out my hair on my eyebrows and lip and then asks if i'd like her to do the little "flavor-saver" under my bottom lip as well. (she didn't call it that of course, she just asked if i wanted my bottom lip done as well) i said "sure, why not" so off it came! just like that. but no... that wasn't far enough! she then asked if i wanted my chin done too! i said "is it bad?"........ she handed me a mirror...
have you ever tried to look at your own chin? close up? it's pretty hard... i couldn't tell, so i just said "go for it"...
she starts spreading wax on my chin... and then down my neck... my eyes instantly are wide open... my thoughts? "WHAT?!" i say out loud "this is a new one for me..." she RIPS the cloth, wax and hair off my face/chin/neck and all i can say is "HOLY SHOOT!?!?" my partner in crime busts up laughing... my face? indescribable... it has been a unique experience all around...
until next time
you stay classy San Diego...
-kmw-
Thursday, March 13, 2008
shakespeare's sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments, love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come,
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-kmw-
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come,
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-kmw-
the paradox of our time...
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.
By: Dr. Bob Moorehead
-kmw-
jane austen
so i've decided that i freaking love Jane Austen...i've recently fallen quite in love with Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility...
i'm definitely head-over-heels for Mr. Darcy...
he's incredible...
i think i was born in the wrong century...
either that or i should have been born in a book.
i've watched these movies over and over and over and can basically say all the lines before they come. i've talked about P and P to friends and they all say that they have the hardest time understanding what the characters are saying because of the accents and the almost backward speak, but i've never had one little bit of trouble...
i understood every word the first time i watched it. i fell in love with it when i saw it in the theater. oh if i could be in a book by Jane Austen! i want to wear the ridiculous dresses, and be flattered by a guy in tight pants. i want flowers brought to me, and letters hand written on parchment. i want someone like Darcy to fall head-over-heels for me and almost colapse every time they see me... i want to be carried home after being caught in a storm and being completely soaked in the rain...
it's all so flipping romantic.
dang.
if only.
-kmw-
there's this guy...
since i decided that boys no longer have cooties i'm pretty sure that almost 50% (if not more) of my sentences start with "there's this guy..." just ask my mom and sisters... i just cant get enough of those so-called men... they are oh-so entertaining... there's always a story to tell, something to read into and get irritated, or flustered, or twitter-pated, or "love stoned"...what is it? what's so good about them anyway? i'm sure that there are hundreds of reasons that they're great, but at the same time, i'm sure there are hundreds, if not thousands, of things that make them annoying and not worth the time, or the energy that we put into impressing them.
for instance...
there's this guy...
he and i have been friends for almost 3 years now. at first we were inseparable, we went to lunch every day no matter what, we worked together on every project or assignment that was given, we talked for hours on end and were thought to be dating by most people... we would be asked where the other was by our co-workers and bosses and sometimes other friends and almost 100% of the time, we knew where the other was.
then i went away to school... it was one of the hardest things in the world to have to say goodbye to him, considering that he's terrible with goodbye's so we just said "see ya later" and left it at that. we continued to talk but we haven't SEEN each other for over a year.
it is almost inevitable... when i have decided that i've moved on and can no longer dwell on what might have been between us it's like he has a sixth sense about it and out of NOWHERE he'll call me. he'll tell me how much he's missed me and update me on what's been going on... we'll say that we need to get together... but we never do... i cant speak for him, but i know that i wonder about him and what he's up to...
and then that stupid cycle starts over... it's pretty irritating... i'm not gunna lie.
there's this other guy...
he and i have been good friends since we met while i was at school... he's pretty great! we talk every day, for at least an hour or so, and have become even closer despite our geographical distance... we play games, talk about what's going on, i've met his roommates via webcam, likewise he has met my family. we know just about every dirty little detail about each other and it's great to have a friend like that... while i was at school my roommates kept telling me that he was a little into me... he was at my place all the time, came to visit me when my roommates were out of town, we would go to the park and dork around all the time...
unfortunately i was so set on being miserable that i couldn't see that and i wasn't having any of it... i consequently missed out on what could have been AWESOME... and now i'm really far away and not looking to go back there any time soon, for any reason at all... we're still really good friends we still talk all the time and we keep saying we'll visit... but it never happens... anyway... that's an unfinished story for the time being...
as it stands there will always be "this guy" in my life... so i'm positive there will be more...
for now, peace out...
-kmw-
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