been there, kissed that...

hahahahaha!! i can't get over how funny this one is...

the original has more types, but i copied the ones that i've personally experienced...

I have a tongue, too, thank you

Tom was a good-looking, smart guy who played guitar and opened every door for me, but he also had a knack for filling my entire mouth with his imperialistic tongue, which completely crushed mine as it recklessly reached for my tonsils. No matter what I did, I couldn’t remove it, mostly because my own tongue seemed to have disappeared. Lots of oral offenders’ tongues make the mistake of setting up permanent residence in their dates’ mouths. The tongue should be about playful give and take: Tease, then pull back. If that gets a positive response, venture a little further, but never leave your date thinking, “What the heck happened to my tongue?” or “Red alert: Suffocation setting in!”

Mr. Hoover (more recent than the others...foul)

Mr. Hoover is the opposite of the previous smoocher—he likes to suck your tongue right out of your mouth and hold onto it. If your date’s entire head is unwillingly following yours because you’re holding her tongue hostage, that’s probably not a good thing. Tongue suction is tricky. Unless you know exactly the amount of suction to exert and the duration to hold your partner’s tongue captive (Hint: it’s not five minutes), you’re treading into Bad Kisser Land.

The Cheek-Licker

Licking or lapping your date’s cheek will leave him or her either (a) grossed out or (b) laughing (i personally laughed right out loud...). Licking people’s faces isn’t hot. (I don’t care if your girlfriend freshman year loved it; she was one in a million, maybe 100 million.) When it comes to kissing, the tongue should make contact with two — and only two — places above the shoulders besides the mouth—the neck and the ear. But if you shoot for these erogenous zones, don’t overdo it. Wet willies and hickeys are for amateurs.

i laughed the whole time i was reading this... *giggle-eww-giggle*

mostly because all i could think about was this picture that Sylvia had on her facebook... and it reminded me of a pretty bad experience i had with Mr. MormonHoover...

i repeat:

*giggle-eww-giggle*

i can honestly say that i just about peed my pants when i saw this picture...

so funny...

-kmw-