Saturday, April 19, 2008

the last one single...

yup. i found yet another hilarious article! :) yay for! this time i just picked out my favorites of the Q&A section...

So you’ve noticed that you’re the only one in your circle of friends who isn’t attached, engaged or married, huh?

here we go!! :)

Q: Why do so many women experience this type of panic?
A: Being single in this society is still the greatest of social stigmas—despite how many zeroes are at the end of our paychecks or initials after our name. Society still perceives singleness as a personal failure and sends us this classic mixed message that while we should flourish in our careers and embrace our independence, we’re still a failure if we’re single. And as our expectations rise in all other areas of life, they too are heightened when it comes to our “personal success” with marriage. So essentially, the Panic Years are both self-imposed and culturally-imposed.

if you're still single-and-30 (or 30+) it's not because you suck at life. if you're progressing and have a good career path you're fine! there's nothing wrong with trying to get ahead in life. if you're 30 and stagnant... that's just sad. get off your butt and do something!

Q: To get through the Panic Years, you recommend that women use “creative tactics” to find potential fiancés (PFs). What are some of these tactics?
A: Instead of retracing stale dating routes that aren’t getting you anywhere, look for opportunities in places you might have missed. When life hands you an emergency-room visit for that skiing mishap, make nice with the cute, single resident on call! Look at every event in life as an opportunity—and not just one that passes you by, but one you must seize! Who said you can’t find a cute, straight guy at jury duty? Instead of idling away at the inscrutable Latin carved on the walls, a woman I know made small talk with juror #5, her current boyfriend of more than a year.

HA-larious! i think i'll take this opportunity to quote my favorite movie... i'm pretty sure that if you go around "making nice" with anything male (or female) that moves and breathes you'll become "the most determined flirt that ever made [yourself and your] family ridiculous." (Pride and Prejudice) no joke.

Q: How can women deal with what you call “Panic by Proxy,” the pressure from pushy parents and friends?
A: What those people putting pressure on you don’t know won’t hurt them. Exercise your right to keep the play-by-play of your relationship as private as possible. And don’t be afraid to confront these people once and for all. Confront the offenders head-on and explain that their projected pressure onto you is self-defeating. Let them know that it is crushing your self-esteem and putting an undue strain on your relationship with them.

tell them to back the heck off... there's nothing wrong with being single dang it!! just because all 3 of your sisters are happily married, 2 of them with 4 children each and the other with 2, doesn't mean you have to run out and get yourself hitched to the first guy you "crush" on... good grief!!

Q: What kind of dating expectations do you recommend single women experiencing the Panic Years set if they want to get married?
A: If you’re already planning your wedding to the guy you’re sitting across from on date number one, you’re in trouble. Not necessarily because he won’t be The One, but because you’re not even letting yourself be in the moment. Permit yourself to get lost in the date, get lost in your conversation, get lost in him. But whatever you do, don’t let yourself get lost in the single-mindedness of walking down the aisle by tomorrow. You will not only sabotage this relationship, but any future relationship with those kinds of expectations. At the same time, letting a “comfortable relationship” languish for years without any shift in momentum doesn’t bode well for your marital future, either. Don’t think about clinching the deal at every phase of your relationship, but do be cognizant of your needs and share that with your partner, who, if he’s the right one, will unquestionably respect that. But if he’s still sneaking you in through the service entrance of his building after months of dating, he’s pretty much telegraphing his true intentions for you.

ok, i agree with this last one. yes, i'm guilty of thinking "hmm... Mrs. Kiley So-and-So... that sounds nice" or even going as far as signing my first name with his last name... once upon a time i did that sort of thing! (yeah yeah, i know i'm still young and so it couldn't have been THAT long ago, but whatever... shut up.) thankfully, i can say i've moved on... matured, if you will. now it's just a funny, hi-i'm-ridiculous kind of thing that i make fun of... mostly i get a kick out it when people that still do that kind of thing can't, for the life of them, stop, but try and rationalize their way into sanity... right... been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the hat... not worth the extra stress!!

you stay classy... :)


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